Friday, January 7, 2011

landmark of the day

I have my very first follower!

Granted, it is one of my very best friends, but hey! Its still counts and I'm still super excited :)

In other news, yesterday was my first official day in uniform and I feel I didn't do my job in describing my uniform with that last post so here we go.

The Hooters girl uniform consists of 5 parts: tank top, shorts, nylons, socks and shoes.

The tank top is the worst part, hands down. Made of white lycra, it starts out about 4 sizes too small and stretches to fit. Kind of reminds me of those dehydrated toys, the dinosaurs and bugs that kids used to get; stick them in water and they expand until you can see detail. yes, THAT is a Hooters t-shirt. When you look at one of these, your first instinct is to laugh and ask for a bigger size, but don't let the size fool you. You'll squeeze yourself into it and feel like a whale within minutes. I have my problems with the tank, but being that I am NOT a size two, I tend to have to stop breathing to look at all decent.

The shorts are not as bad. They're just bright orange shorts made to eccentuate a female's legs. Theyre dolphin shorts, and I own a pair of those so it wasn't anything new to me. Once you slip them on, you have to pull the sides up onto your hip and the front down slightly, to create The Smile. The Smile is what gets the boys going. The effect of The Smile if that your butt constantly hangs out. In the manual it says your butt is to never hang out of your shorts, but its a moot point. Every single female shows some butt.

Next is the nylons. The disgusting, double thick Suntan nylons. They're made for girls with legs to their chins, so expect them to bee too long for you. A tip, if theyre too long, is to pull the cut off feet over your heels. It stretches them out enough to not sag and nobody will ever see them under the socks. Another interesting thing about the nylons, is the panties issue.
Yesterday, at my training, me and three other girls got into an indepth conversation about how to wear the nylons. apparently, most of the girls opt out on underwear, since all you can really wear comfortably with the shorts is a t-back thong. So boys, take joy in the fact that your Hooters girl might just be commando.

Onto the socks. They're 80's style white crunch socks that have to be "crunched" just perfectly, starting at mid-calf, in order to "make it look as though you have a nice leg." psh, I DO have a nice leg lady. Thanks though. There not a whole lot to say about them other than they are extrememly warm and very helpful on smoke breaks.

The shoes are simple white 3/4 high top sketchers that sell for about 100 bucks each. If they get dirty, AT ALL, they have to be thrown away. If the laces fray, they have to be thrown away. To keep them "fresh looking" you should wipe them down daily with a degreaser and not wear them outside.

The Hooters girl uniform is not allowed to be worn or even seen outside of their establlishment and because of this, every Hooters girl must come to work with her uniform completely covered and leave in the same manner. Basically, the Hooters girls make wearing this thing incredibly easy. It's not, trust me.

No comments:

Post a Comment