I feel like I have completely let yall down. I mean, good god, I think I've gone almost a week without updating you. And I know you miss me describing my every day, tedious activities to you. Right?
I knew it. Well rest easy, my precious readers, ill try to do better this week.
I worked a double yesterday. 10 am to 11 at night, and quite honestly this is the only job that I can work a double and not be itching to leave. I find myself surprised by how quickly time goes by and frankly annoyed when the others girls complain about how tired they are. The only thing that bothers me about working so late is coming home to an already passed out boyfriend. But that's a while other slice of pie. Anyways, the day went smoothly (when compared to my others). I only had one complaint but ill get to that.
First off, I want to talk to yall about the girls. Yesterday, at around 11 am, the restaurant slowed almost to a stop. I had one table, a few girls had a table but for the most part we were all completely unoccupied. At hooters, when you have nothing to do and you can possibly make something up, you're required to plaster yourself to the door and scare the living hell out of anybody who walks in the door by screaming in a loud obnoxious voice "hiiii welcome to Hoooooters!". We sound like a boy band trying desperately to tune their voices and from there, we must sieltnly fight over who will take the poor unsuspecting group to their table and start shoving beer and cheese sticks down their throat. (once you get $30 worth of budlight, cheese sticks, vodka or other promotional items, you get a smoke break so by shove, I mean put the cheese stick in there thoughts and stomp it in like inception).
So the girls and I encircles the door and started to chat. somehow, we got on th subject of sex, anal sex, and penis vs. Vagina. I'm really not sure how, but it could have something to do with the fact that 50% of the girls there are lesbians. I know, crazy shit right?! I guess it makes it easier to flirt shamelessly if you REALLY have no interest in the gender you're speaking to. I wouldn't know. I'm the one girl who casually drops mention of the boyfriend when a customer flirts. I'm told, by a few of the girls, that I am the only girl there who can make good tips just while being sweet and not trying to coerce it out of them with winks and giggles. well, thanks girls! yes, I've had men hit on me. Some can be very sweet while others make me think of date rape drugs and shitty apartments, but nonetheless I can hold my own very well. Take yesterday for instance:
I was minding the own business, waiting on the bartender to make (very simple yet it somehow takes her 15 minutes) bud light for my table when the man next to me took a very suggestive glance at me. And my glance I mean tongue out, eyes rolling in the back of his head and something noticeably different about his shorts. He was a young-ish black man, maybe in his thirties though I'm sure his mental capacity was a far plunge below that. I turned my head in his direction (never turn your body to talk to a man that does that. You may not be meaning it, but that body language says "do it!") and asked if I could help in any way. He looked me up and down, licked his lips and replied with "well aren't you a sexy piece of ass". It was all I could do not to have my manager kick his ass. Instead, I smiled a smile that would have warned anybody what was about to happen, picked up beer and very subtly slammed my knee into his nether regions as I walked away. He left not long after and nobody saw. Think he got the point?
Then there was the sweet guy. He was one of my first tables and stayed all night long, drinking beers and obviously ordering things he didn't need, just to keep me coming back.
"can I get you anything?"
"uhm...no...well, wait...can I get a fork?"
"...for your sandwhich?"
He was probably late twenties, oriental and very well off as I could tell from the gold watch on his wrist and the fact that he tipped me 15 bucks for a sandwhich, a beer, and six hours of getting him forks and napkins. Towards the end of the night he got a but more comfortable and decided to buy a calendar if I would sign it. I agreed, brought him his calendar (12.95 at any hooters restaurant and online!) he very quietly asked if I would leave my number as well, adding that he would love to take me to dinner one night.
I couldn't help but smile. After being in a relationship for 6 months, the bf has steadily declined in taking me on dates. I don't really mind though, because movies and nice dinners don't make a relationship. Anyway, I sat down with him and told him I don't five out my number since I'm already in a relationship but that he was welcome to come back and see me anytime. He was a real sweetheart and I'm sure hell get a great girl if he keeps acting like that.
Then, comes the big fish. The huuuuge steaming pile of human feces that happened to sit at my table. He was an older man, maybe in his fourties and obviously involved in the army somehow. Hus companion was much younger and seemed like the quiet type. he didn't talk much while the older man talked my ear off all night. I must have asked him a million times if everything was okay and each time he said that everything was wonderful. It wasn't until I forgot to bring him his limes with his shot of patron that things seemed a little...awkward. Yet, he still insisted in telling me everything was great. He made no complaints all night long and willingly signed his check. He even told me hed come back to see me sometime. Then, as he left, I happened to pick up the check, on which hed written an 8 dollar tip and a note that stated "and you don't derserve that!".
You giant fake douche. If I don't deserve it, don't give it to me. Jesus.
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